The Adventures of Minny and Apex.

[apex]

Hmm, we'd origionally intended this for the Icesus newspaper, but it's not been published so minny and I decided to use the forums as a venue for our exploits. If the column ever starts appearing in papers, we'll just paste the whole papers on this thread instead. So stay tuned!

Over the past couple of years, Minny and myself have toured Icesus, our own lives in jeopardy, to document the lives of the most famous mobs around the valley. This article will serve as our weekly forum to share our exploits with all of Icesus, and let these poor, overlooked, and often abused mobs have their voices heard!

Our first interview was with the most well-known creature in the valley. (no... not Felgand...). Ereldon proved to be a tough cookie to open up,but once we(Minny <cough>) got him talking... boy, did we find out some things...


Mipex: How do you stay awake 24/7 to heal players?

Ereldon: Interesting question, that... Well, sorry to burst yer bubble, and though I do try to stay around as long as possible to heal all you needy adventurers, I do need *some* sleep! I do my best to fit in about 10 hours or so every 15 days or so... It does seem to be enough to recharge me. Well, that and the crystal meth....


Mipex: What do you do when you're not healing players or answering the queries of newbies?

Ereldon: Most of the time, I plan with other sages to spread the word of Goddess Pthuule to newbies. Sometimes at night when I get lonely and bored, I get some of my friends to play blackjack and roulette for me. The winnings goes toward buying supplies for newbies. I make a handsome profit...I get good deals on torches and bandages since I have some close friends in the black market.


Mipex: I have a burning curiosity, how come you never wear clothes? Aren't you worried that you might be embarrassing some of the less worldly newbies?

Ereldon: I'm glad you asked. I've actually been meaning to clear this up for some time now. To answer your first question.. Intimidation. In my earlier years at my post here on Central Square, I did infact wear clothes. Attacks on me were frequent, though not often successful. Even so, I became annoyed. I decided to stop wearing clothes, to intimidate my adversaries- I am quite a *cough* large.. elf, afterall. curiously, ever since, attack attempts on me have greatly decreased. As for worrying the new adventurers to this world with my immodesty... well if they can't handle the sight of my monster, how are they ever going to grow accustomed to the dangerous monsters of this realm?


Mipex: Who's your favorite backstreet boy, and why?

Ereldon: My favourite Backstreet Boy? That's easy! AJ is my boy...did you know that he was in rehab? I helped him through that...he's a nice boy really... His parents divorced just like mine did...*looks really sad for a moment* I've spent a lot of time talking to him at night. We have more in common than anyone would suspect! He is living the life that I have dreamed about, all those fan girls to pick and choose from, you know? And have you seen his tattoos? Looking at him is just like looking at a collection of tattoos and...*coughs* let's just leave it at that, shall we?


Mipex: About your scar....why haven't you ever had it surgically removed?

Ereldon: Yes, yes, the scar, did you know that I got it from some evil shadowdancers? Anyways, I leave it there to remind myself that there are some dangerous people that would like to kill me. The guards are reliable most of the time but even they can blunder. Besides...someone told me that the scar makes me look sexy...


Mipex: While we're on the subject, do you know why the shadowdancers attacked you? Do they have a grudge against you or something?'

Ereldon: I've wondered about this for many years... I'm left to assume that it's just the nature of the shadowdancers... I'm a benevolent lad, and they're always looking for trouble. Come to think of it, I won a lot of money off of Ceawin in a hand of poker the previous week... maybe that had something to do with it...


Mipex: Ok, Ereldon, why the extreme dislike of whiners? How did this intense pet-peeve of yours come about?

Ereldon: Back in the days when I was still training at the temple, the new novices whined so much, it was nearly impossible for me or any of the elders to meditate. So I suggested that anyone who is heard whining be punished and soon, there wasn't a grumble to hear anywhere! It turned the novices from being spoiled brats and made them into hardworking students. I slap the whiners now to stamp out that sort of thing early on, and you know, words get no work done.


Mipex: Shouldn't you be in retirement now in the country somewhere? Why don't you choose someone else to take over your job?

Ereldon: That's easy... the chicks dig the town sage...

Now that was an eye opener to Ereldon's innerside! It was definitely worth nearly getting killed by the guards to be able to interview one of the most famous people on Aegic(The guards apparently thought we might be assassins out to kill Ereldon..). They are absolutely nuts about security, but things cleared up once I (Minny) showed them my amulet that proves that I am a treehugger. Tune into the next interview when Apex and I risk out necks to interview another famous person... one who is always desperate for newbie helpers: Vizra!!! Send a mudmail to Apex or myself if you've got a question you'd like Vizra to answer!

[rotax]

Wouldn't surgicaly removing a scar just leave a bigger scar?



This was ok until you brought up the backstreat boys. I'm giving you both an F.... Minus.

[apex]

Critics... BAH!

Oh, and a plastic surgery operation would be focused on eliminating any scar.. and thus wouldn't leave a bigger scar... I thought htat would be obvious...

[khade]

best way to get rid of a scar that big would be to destroy what is on it, so get rid of his head and the scar is gone. problem solved.

[etadan]

I liked Graemor trip log better, but this is nice too.
Questions to Vizra:
1)Is it true that you was selling rat corpses to [in]famous soup house as the main ingredient for the soup?
2) Who is Neudhroayan?
3) What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Edit: doh, it was soposed to be mudmail... *apologize*

[apex]

best way to get rid of a scar that big would be to destroy what is on it, so get rid of his head and the scar is gone. problem solved.

Sure thing khade. Please send me a tell when you're going to attempt this. I'd like to watch.

[estiela]

Huh, quite a lot negative feedback. I found that interview quite funny.

[daic]

Ok. This interview was funny. Reminds me about help fsi (check it in the game). But one thing... Isnt those Blackmarket tradesmen members of some Anti-Vaerlon unit. Trying to get weapons/money to arm their troop. So I wonder does Ereldon really have friends there. And you two could make the questions to fit the fantasyworld of Icesus. But keep going the good work!