Permanent event: Monster long descriptions

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cyto
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Permanent event: Monster long descriptions

Post by cyto » Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:54 pm

You might encounter mobs out there which have their long description being the same as their short description, as in example below:

Code: Select all

Brown unicorn
la unicorn
You are looking at brown unicorn.
The above situation is not ideal. The ideal is to have unique longdesc and shortdesc in everything. However, this is an "aesthetic" issue. As I have higher priority issues to burn my midnight oil on than aesthetics, I'm going to crowdsource the creation of any missing mob long descs, if you find them.

I'm offering 1 PDF for each mob long description that is...

1) more than 128 characters in length, is written in english and is grammatically mostly correct.
2) this mob desc is still "free", which means it is not yet listed in "list of accepted mob desc submissions / creator" list below.
3) it is for a mob which has its long desc exactly same as its short desc as quoted above (so the long desc actually needs fixing).
4) which isn't found from anywhere if I google it and therefore it is genuine. By submitting the description you agree on giving up ALL intellectual property rights for this description to Jää ry and you will not be able to withdraw it from the game at any later point. Be especially sure the desc is not found from any existing copyrighted material. This responsibility does not end for the submitter in the act of submission - if it is found later from somewhere where it should not be found from will result in a backlash for the submitter. The submitter's name will not be associated with the mob code, but submissions are always traceable back to this forum chain.
5) it is thematically fitting for the mob (if it is a cat, don't write a desc for a dog). You might also want to check its limbs and other combat-mechanically significant parts prior to writing, for example: if the mob has three hands, don't write a desc for two hands, or if it has no eyes, don't write a desc for a mob which has eyes, or if it has wings, don't... ad infinitum.
6) which is accepted by me based on fulfilling the above five points.

Especially well written submissions will earn 2 PDF instead of 1.

To submit a mob desc, submit it into this forum thread as a reply. You see an example submission by me as a reply below this message. You can use it as a template for your submission.

Submitting as forum reply ensures fair play - the submissions are processed in order of their arrival. If two submissions come for the same mob, the one that was submitted (replied) first, and if it is accepted by me, will have the right-of-way to being chosen. The second submission for the same mob, if the first one was accepted, will get no benefit. Once the submission is accepted, it will be listed in the "list of accepted mob desc submissions / creator" list below so you know which mobs do not need to be submitted any more.

NOTE: Avoid mentioning mob size, weight or sex (so consider carefully if you plan on using words like his, her, etc.) in the longdesc unless you deem it is absolutely necessary. This is because size, weight and sex are handled by the game mechanics independently from descriptions.

There is no closing date for this "event". This event is permanently open. Whenever you find monsters without proper long descriptions, you can submit.

The submissions list will be processed in batches. If you have made submissions, which have been accepted and are listed below, and PDF has not arrived immediately, don't worry, you'll get them when the next batch is processed.

List of accepted mob desc submissions, creator:
(creamy) owl, imrael
(strutting) peafowl, imrael
giant boring beetle, imrael
(happy) rat, ezenya
(wiry) mule, ezenya
(hasty) rat swarm, ezenya
(light brown) spitting cobra, ezenya
(blue-green) ice troll, ezenya
(grimacing) quickwood, ezenya
(menacing) giant fire beetle, ezenya
(smirking) half-ogre, ezenya
shepherd dog, ezenya
(ferocious) giant scorption, ezenya
(writhing) chuul, ezenya
(green-skinned) nixie, ezenya
(short) vegepygmy, ezenya
(majestic) tiger, ezenya
Last edited by cyto on Wed May 22, 2019 09:55 am, edited 38 times in total.

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cyto
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Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 12:48 pm

Example submission

Post by cyto » Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:55 pm

Mob: "Brown unicorn"
Desc: "The unicorn is a legendary creature that has been described since antiquity as a beast with a single large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead."

imrael
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2013 19:58 pm

Post by imrael » Mon Apr 22, 2019 07:03 am

Mob: "Creamy Owl"

This tawny hunter is known for being stockier than other birds in their order. They have a short down-turned beak and large black eyes, with the ability to rotate their head a full 360 degrees. While primarily nocturnal, they also have the habit of being active during some portion of the daytime hours, content to sit camouflaged in the crook of trees watching for threats or future prey.

ACCEPTED - Cyto

imrael
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2013 19:58 pm

Post by imrael » Mon Apr 22, 2019 09:08 am

Mob: "Strutting peafowl"

Desc: "Capable of only limited flight, peafowls are known for their showy trailing iridescent plumage. They have a habit of fanning out their feathers during mating rituals or when threatened, and are known to subsist primarily on small bugs and lizards."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

imrael
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2013 19:58 pm

Post by imrael » Mon Apr 22, 2019 19:03 pm

Mob: "Giant boring beetle"

Desc: "Children like to refer to these as Jewel Beetles due to their brightly colored glossy carapaces. They have 6 legs and two pronounced antennae, and are usually found feeding on dead or dying trees."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Fri Apr 26, 2019 13:34 pm

Mob: "Happy rat"

Desc: "This cheery little rodent seems to be living the life. Its whiskers quiver from joy, and its tiny belly is bulging. Perhaps it found a meaty carcass and ate itself to happiness?"

ACCEPTED - Cyto
Last edited by ezenya on Fri Apr 26, 2019 14:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Fri Apr 26, 2019 14:16 pm

Mob: Wiry mule.

Desc: "A wild mule. Its well-defined muscles and healthy looking hair point to excellent genes, perhaps worthy of being a leader of a herd of its own one day. It seems sure-footed, and confident. It seems to be cautious of you."

or maybe :

"Mules are the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse. They tend to be surefooted, strong and intelligent. It has well-defined muscles and healthy looking short mane, and it is very cautious."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Wed May 01, 2019 17:21 pm

Mob: hasty rat swarm.

Desc: "This filthy swarm of rodents is speeding along towards some unlucky target, or something filthy you are better off not knowing about. It is comprised of about couple dozen of rats, with their black eyes glistening and whiskers twitching, sharp teeth and claws ready for action."

note:
"couple dozen of rats" i'm not 100% sure if this is grammatically correct, but from what i looked up it seemed accurate?

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Fri May 03, 2019 07:39 am

Mob: light brown spitting cobra.

Desc: "This majestic serpent is of the spitting cobra branch. They are different from regular snakes in that they spray their venom from afar instead of delivering it by bite, if the venom hits your eyes it can be very dangerous. Too bad for you, this creature has aim better than that of the Rangers."

note: i did not remember to check if the snake actually sprays the venom in Icesus or just bites like normal ones (in combat)? :D

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Thu May 09, 2019 11:22 am

Mob: Blue-green ice troll

Desc: "Like their cousins the snow trolls, Ice trolls are very large and usually like to brawl. This ones skin has a green tinge to the blue, and it is looking quite grim. It has scars on its arms and face, telling tales of battles won, but with price."

note: this is assuming most ice trolls have blue-ish skin color to them, in one form or another. (you know, being all ice-like). I have only seen one of these.

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Thu May 09, 2019 11:40 am

Mob: Grimacing quickwood

Desc: "Dark, mossy, sharp looking branches with no leaves, trunk bearing marks of battles, this quickwood does not look friendly. At first glance it seems to have an aura of decay emanating from it, but after you blink, it is gone, leaving you wondering if it ever was there to begin with..."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Thu May 09, 2019 11:49 am

Mob: Menacing giant fire beetle

Desc: "The glimmering, dark-red exoskeleton with some luminescent spots on it earned this beetle its name. You can see a glimpse of its wings, perhaps it is preparing to take flight?"

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Tue Jun 04, 2019 17:05 pm

Mob: smirking half-ogre.

desc: "This is a half-ogre, smelly, dim-looking thing. They are known for not being good at restraining themselves, enjoying their life as they see fit.
It is big, not as big as an pure-blooded ogre, but big enough for most creatures of the valley to leave it be. Maybe you should too."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Tue Jun 04, 2019 17:13 pm

MOb: Shepherd dog.

Desc: "Shepherd dogs are very intelligent, loyal and reliable. They usually tend to sheep herds, keeping the herd together, and safe from predators. They are agile and fast creatures, often quite playful as well."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

ezenya
Supporting Member 2017
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 09:28 am

Post by ezenya » Tue Jun 04, 2019 17:21 pm

Mob: Ferocious giant scorpion.

Desc: "Scorpions are predatory arachids, nocturnal and very dangerous. Giant scorpion's sting can kill even b'roghs, if they are unlucky. They can be quite aggressive, and creature of this size requires big meals, so it would be wise to stay far away from it."

ACCEPTED - Cyto

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